A History of Bad Cinema Volume 2: They Live

Here is the litmus test of a truly great bad movie:

A couple years back my former roommate and I arrived back at our house around 1:30 in the AM after attending concert in Los Angeles. We were exhausted and hungry, and nothing works better for these symptoms than a spudrito (Burrito with French fries inside it). So we stopped off for spudritos and thought we would just arrive home, eat and go to sleep. We collapsed onto our couch and turned on the television while we ate so that we'd stay awake. On channel 57 was They Live. Suffice to say we stayed up until 3AM so as to not miss a moment of a film we had each seen at least ten times. That is the power of the Bad Film. And few are as awesomely bad as They Live.

This is a film that has a very special place in my heart. I can watch this anytime, anywhere. It’s horrible and I am pretty sure it knows this, but it still goes all the way. The basic plot, for those who don't know, involves a drifter who discovers a pair of sunglasses that offer a frightening view into the real world. You see Aliens have taken over and pulled the wool over our eyes. Subliminal messages that read 'Obey' and 'Consume' are everywhere. But the drifter has the magic glasses so he can see through the subterfuge. He decides to take a stand, or as he so eloquently puts it "I've come here to chew bubblegum and kick ass, and I’m all out of bubblegum." It’s entertaining, its filled with ludicrous dialog and takes place in a bizzaro world version of 1980’s LA.

One of the basic rules of making a bad film is to cast 'Rowdy' Roddy Piper as your lead. Sadly few directors have the guts to cast him. His delivery of the line "ain't love grand?" to another man as he cleans the blood of his own face is the stuff of legend. Young Brando has nothing on middle age Roddy. It may be true that he has only one expression, but within that expression is all of humanities hopes and dreams. He has the face of a beautiful angel, battered by time and Andre the Giant. I have heard people say that humans were created in the image of their maker. I don't know if that is true, but if it is I think it is likely that Roddy Piper was the first off the line.

Everything is great about this film, but the centerpiece is an epic 11 minute fight between Roddy and Keith David. It is ugly, it won't stop, and it is not at all glamorous. You just can't believe that it keeps going. And every time you think it is going to stop it just keeps on chugging along. How to best explain how great it is? I must find a fitting metaphor. I guess it’s like a never ending buffet of macaroni and cheese, only this cheese is sweaty and used to be a wrestler. Yes it’s that good!

They Live was written and directed by John Carpenter, who has always treaded the line between actual good films and bad films that are fun. Some of the later include Big Trouble in Little China and Escape from LA (Escape from New York is a genuinely good movie, so it doesn’t count). If I had to choose only one Carpenter film to watch this would be it, with The Thing a close second. Sadly he has actually started to make real bad films, i.e. ones that are unwatchable like Ghosts of Mars. That one definitely would have made it to bad-good film if original lead Courtney Love hadn’t dropped out. Alas for lost opportunities. Or as Roddy would say "Life's a bitch, and she's back in heat!"

It goes without saying that the film is a magnificent piece of trash, and I can’t give a higher piece of praise.